by
Steve Lazarowitz
February 2002
SET PHASERS ON PUN
"What has five arms with razor sharp claws, a mouth full of pointed black teeth and moves at the speed of a souped-up sports car? I don't know either, but whatever it was, was gaining fast."
This slightly edited quote from an old, thankfully unfinished story of mine, sets the tone for this month's column on Speculative Humor.
Speculative what?
I've defined Speculative Fiction any number of times, so much so, that you're probably all tired of hearing about it, but bear with me. There is madness to my method. Speculative Fiction, a super-genre containing science fiction, fantasy and horror, is the mainstay of my existence. Anyone that has read a selection of speculative fiction, would know that humor can crop up anywhere, at anytime, for any reason. Star Trek and Star Wars are filled with humorous little moments and speculative literature is rife with bad puns and silliness in general.
The Xanth books by Piers Anthony were certainly not the first science fiction books to incorporate bad puns. One of my least favorite comes from the Robert Heinlein book Farham's Freehold.
A family was sitting in a bomb shelter, waiting for the world to end and one of them said, "Armageddon tired of this." I remember nothing else at all about the book, so I must conclude humor can make an impression.
In fact just last month, at ArisiaCon in Boston, my reading was very well received. I read three short stories, all of which had humorous or at least satirical value. Later that day, someone commented, if you wish a reading to be remembered, read something funny.
What isn't as funny, is the fact that there are probably more Xanth books in existence than I have hairs on my head. A percentage of the speculative fiction audience was paying an awful lot of money to read books full of bad puns, long before Terry Pratchett hit us with Discworld, or Douglas Adams gave us Hitchhikers.
Adams and Pratchett lent an air of respectability to humor used in science fiction and fantasy by proving conclusively that speculative humor can make a lot of money. Both series eventually bypassed Xanth in popularity, if not actual dollars. Marketing departments could no longer afford to look down their collective noses at speculative humor.
Then, at the 58th World Science Fiction Convention in Chicago, Galaxy Quest took the Hugo award for best dramatic presentation. Suddenly humor in fantasy and SF had become VERY respectable. If you haven't seen this movie, stop reading now and don't continue until you've rented and watched it. If you're a Star Trek fan and have never seen it, you should be forced to eat Klingon food for a month!
Yet long before Pratchett, Adams or Galaxy Quest made headlines, several writers had already broken the genre ice. John DeChancie wrote a number of pun-filled books decades ago. Many of Fredric Brown's short stories were funny and I thought Roger Zelazny's A Night in the Lonesome October was brilliant satire. Another Day, Another Dungeon by Greg Costikyan also comes to mind. Speculative humor has been happening for a long time.
I know I've mentioned Jeff Strand's How to Rescue a Dead Princess in at least one earlier column, so I won't mention it here again, at least from this point on. I will however mention Strand's book Graverobbers Wanted (No Experience Necessary), which I've only just recently finished. While it is not technically speculative fiction, it does have horror trappings and it did manage to keep me chuckling, even through the most gruesome parts (good trick that).
If you haven't yet read any speculative humor, you might want to give Planet Relish a try (www.planetrelish.com). PR is, as far as I know, the only speculative humor magazine in existence. In fact, Mark Rapacioli, the editor of PR, was the first person to bring the term to my attention. For all I know, he coined the phrase.
The point of all this? As far as I know, no one has ever paid a tribute to the writers of speculative humor. And since no one else has stepped forward, I invite you to share a poem you will hopefully forget as soon as you read.
by Steve Lazarowitz
Once when I was just a lad
There were many books I had
Tolkien's works was rather sad
But I enjoyed them anyway
Donaldson wrote Lord Foul's Bane
Filled with anguish, laced with pain
Tom Covenant was barely sane
(Perhaps it is a ring thing)
Goldin's Eternity Brigade
Left me feeling quite afraid
Yet to this day it has stayed
High among my favorites
Then I discovered Arthur Dent
And learned what speculative humor meant
Since that time I've often spent
A lot more time just laughing
Terry Pratchett's world to me
Is actually quite silly
For I can not really see
A giant cosmic tortoise
Xanth was popular in its day
At first I think it was okay
To Piers I have but this to say
I've had enough PUNishment
I hope this column's taught you well
Speculative Humor does really sell
You should read some (what the hell)
Or this poem's for nothing
Now it's time to go to bed
Because my eyes are rather red
Soon I'll rest my weary head
Because I've finally finished
Author's Note: I would like to formally apologize to Terry Pratchett, Pier's Anthony, Douglas Adam's ghost and all my readers for subjecting them to this. Please remember most speculative humor is actually funny.
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