"It doesn't matter whether the glass is half empty or half full, if you can't afford the minimum."

Life is what happens all around us. As you're driving to work, sitting at home, lying on the beach...wherever you happen to be, the world revolves around you. That's the one truth that no one ever admits.

When you were growing up, your parents went out of their way to make sure you knew that you weren't the center of the universe. They were wrong. Your world revolves around you, mine revolves around me and Zippy the Koala's world revolves around her. That's just the way it is. Deal with it.

Truth is fiction. That is to say, everyone's truth is fiction from someone's point of view. Each of us weaves a tapestry of beliefs, some of which are literally unshakable...which doesn't make them any less fallible.

Like every one of you, my world revolves around me, but there's a subtle difference. I've gone out of my way to avoid the pitfalls of thought programming that have surrounded me for all of my life.

If a box of cereal says no artificial flavor in bold letters on the front of the box, I immediately know that means it has artificial color. If it didn't, they'd be sure to mention the fact. If a person says you can't get a stronger medicine without a prescription, I know that there is at least one more nonprescription drug out there that is just as strong. And if someone tells me that George Washington was the first president of the United States of America, I would be forced to disagree. He was the first elected president, but before that John Hancock was the president of the continental congress and as such, ran America, while Washington and his men were still freezing in Valley Forge.

I've always tried to follow the old Buddhist admonition. "Each morning, like a scholar at his first class, I leave my mind a blank page for the day to write upon."

Today, I came up with Sahara Ice. Actually, the name of the column went through a number of changes before my good friend Kate Saundby suggested Sahara Ice. The name had everything for which I'd been aiming. Sahara implies an exotic location (at least for me. It's somewhat less exotic if you live there). And since ice is never found in the Sahara, it points to the paradox of existence, which, when you get right down to it, is the real mystery of life, which is this...

If there is a supreme being, why did he create me and more importantly, why did he create the Backstreet Boys? The fact is, I believe in a supreme being, I'm just not sure he believes in me.

In case you haven't noticed, this column is my place to ramble about anything and everything that I believe demands my attention. Those of you who have read my column View from the Parapet, would know that I am controversial, opinionated and sometimes silly, but I am NOT shy. Please feel free to disagree with anything or even everything that I say. If you do, feel even more free to e-mail me and blast me and/or my ideas to smithereens. After all, your world revolves around you, and you owe it to yourself.

Whenever I feel like it, I'll write another issue of Sahara Ice, about anything I damn well please. And you will either read it or not...enjoy it or not.

Which won't make it any less the truth.

My truth. I hope you'll get something out of it.

This premiere issue of my Sahara Ice column appeared in The Blue Iris Journal. All issues can be found in the Journal's archives.